Thursday 30th April 2015 was a big date for us. It was the day we moved back home after 8 long years.
People say never to look back and regret the decisions you make but for the time being I can’t help but feel we wasted 8 years of our lives living somewhere where we felt we didn’t belong.
Finally a year ago today we rectified that and we were at last able to move home. In one way I can’t believe it’s been a year but in other ways it feels so much longer!
Although we very much wanted the move it didn’t all come as easy and as happy as you’d think. Leaving the way of living behind (and all you’d know for the past 8 years) was easy enough (we would be embarking on setting up a new way of living), leaving our home (our first ever owned home) was easy enough, it’s only bricks and mortar isn’t it?, leaving behind friends was easy considering we didn’t have what I call ‘real’ friends .. all that was the easy part. By far the hardest part of the whole move was leaving behind people who mean the world to you …. My Mum & Step-Dad (My step-dad who’s been a part of my life more than my biological dad & means far more to me).
I kept my head buried in the sand leading up to the move. Each time I thought about saying goodbye, I would ignore it and push it to the back of my mind. However on the Morning of 30th April at 5am I couldn’t put if off any longer. We had to leave to catch the ferry. I know they weren’t going to be a million miles away and we would still see them … just not every week like we have done for …. well all of my life. I felt guilty for taking away their grandchildren whom they adore and loved to see. I was puling them away knowing they would only get to see them at intervals throughout the year. C was only 2 at the time and really had no idea what was going on but that morning when I got him from his bed he was weirdly already awake, he would never be awake at 5am in the morning unless he was poorly. But it’s like he knew, he said to me “I don’t want to go Mummy”, I hadn’t even said to him what we were about to do! It’s almost like he just picked up on the vibes from everyone around him. I felt sick and I felt anxious and for a brief second I wondered if we were doing the right thing.
I remember I kept saying “Sorry” to my Mum on the doorstep knowing we had to do this move for the better for my family yet at the same time I was doing this to them. It was heartbreaking.
As we pulled out of their drive tears were flowing and to be honest they did for most of that day. Aside from the heart ache there was that tiny bit of excitement of what was about to happen though. We had wanted to do this for so long and now it was happening. Our belongings were already waiting for us in England – they had left the previous day.
We had a long journey that day – 15 hours all in. Lots of travelling by car & ferry but both L & C were amazing – they did so well.We left at 5am and didn’t arrive until 8pm that night … exhausted but happy and excited because we had arrived and in the morning we would be collecting the keys to our new home. We were staying in a local Premier Inn the night we arrived because it was too late to pick up the keys. We woke the next morning feeling a bit more refreshed and really keen to get set & ready for the day ahead. Up until now all we had seen of our new home was online photos. Due to us living in another Country we had to deal with everything via the internet & phone … but we did have a really good family friend view the property on our behalf and trusted them as to wether we would be happy there.
Driving up the road to a new home that you’ve never seen before but have imagined for weeks on what it’s going to look like is really quite surreal. We had looked at the road via google street maps so seeing it in real life was really weird. The wonders of technology these days is pretty amazing when you think about it.
Anyway needless to say we adored the house and knew from the word go we would be really happy here. We spent the day unpacking, exploring & getting used to our new surroundings. The garden blew us away (we had seen photos of it but seeing it in real life was something else) I have a photo of C the first time he stepped out there and I think he was just in awe of the space. We had moved from quite a small garden that was just all patio .. this garden is huge & has lots of grass, colourful bushes & flowers and lots of places to hide and explore … perfect when you’re just two!
So a year on …. do we have any regrets? Absolutely not. We have & are loved being back home … the saying is so very true when they say “Home is where the heart is” We have made the most out of being where we’ve wanted to be for so long & we’ve not taken it for granted where we kind of did years ago. We spent all of last Summer out every weekend, having fun and making memories. We haven’t wasted a single second and it makes me really excited for the coming months …. once this weather improves!!!!
The children have settled in amazingly well considering L had spent most of her life living where we did & she had some really firm friends there. Both of them have also coped really well living apart from their grandparents, we face time them weekly which I think helps C because that way he still gets to ‘see’ them. They both really love it when they come to stay & when they’re over they stay with us so they literally see them 24/7. I still hate the goodbyes when the time comes for either of them to go home but the countdown begins as soon as we wave them off for their next visit. We have however moved back closer to my Sister and i’m really enjoying being close to her, we see each other every week (sometimes a few times a week). But I just wish we were all together where we should be.
So there we go .. a whole year, it’s gone so fast yet seems longer if that makes sense.