We move house five weeks tomorrow – not only house but we’re moving Country as well. We’re moving back home to the UK and although we’re moving back home I am leaving behind a ‘home’ i’ve had for nearly 8 years and a way of life i’ve been used to.
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions most days but today in particular I’m feeling quite nervous and sad. I’m really not wanting these next few weeks to go very quickly at all.
Each group I take C to i’m feeling sad we’re getting close to counting down to the last time we’ll go together. I watch him enjoying the groups I take him to and watch him adore the people who run these groups. I’m sad he has no idea he’ll no longer be doing them again and he has no idea either. We go to a gym type class, a toddler group and a music class every week and he honestly loves them all. On the mornings we go I tell him where we’re off to and he just knows and gets really excited … little does he know in just a few short weeks we’ll be having to find alternative groups, somewhere new, somewhere with a different set up and different people.
Then there is L … she’s almost 12 – we’ve lived here since she was 4 – longer than she’s even lived in the Country she was born in. She’s been going to school with the same friends for nearly 8 years. They’re a very close class (only 12 of them) and they’ve all grown up together. Her friends will be going off to their new school all together in September … Lauren won’t be joining them though – she’ll be in her new school making new friends and getting used to a new way of life in a school which will be so very different from schooling here.
Then there’s the biggest most hardest part of all …. leaving my best friend behind …… my Mum. I’ve always been so close to my Mum, we moved here and she moved too. It’s not possible at the moment for her to move back and we’re not sure when it will be. I’m dreading the fact she may not be able to or it might be years before she can. My children will miss out so much not having their Grandparents nearby and they too will miss out on so so SO much of both L & C growing up – C is never going to be 2.5yrs again, he’s going to change so much in the next year or two and it’s hurts so much to think of her missing out on him changing and developing so much.
Don’t get me wrong – this move is very much wanted and I am very home sick so untimely want to be back there but there are days like today where I am so sad about the whole thing and i’m wanting these next five weeks to slow down a bit because quite frankly i’m dreading the goodbyes and taking C to his groups for the last time with him having no idea that’ll be the last time he goes.
Enough rambling for now anyway because I can hardly see through my tears x