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Separation Anxiety With a 5 Year Old.

As the title says we’re having separation anxiety issues with little C at the moment and he’s now 5.

I think a lot of it has to do with starting school because looking back it seems that’s when most of this started. I’ve had him with me for the most part of 5 years. I was a stay at home Mum and apart from him doing a few session a week at pre-school he’s had me to himself for all those years.

He started school back in September – being one of the oldest he didn’t start until around the middle and until half-term, he only did half days until 12, so I collected him and we still had lunch and our afternoons together.

Despite the separation anxiety he’s really loving school and he has settled in so well …. once we have parted ways in the morning that is!

For the first week, he seemed to go in just fine. A little bit overwhelmed perhaps and a bit wide-eyed but none the less he went in ok. But one Monday morning he took me by surprise by getting so upset when we got to school and when it was time for me to leave. The floodgates opened and he was literally begging me not to leave him. I was so shocked by it I come outside and cried. He has never done this, never in the 1.5 years at pre-school did he get so upset, In fact, he never even cried once on the drop-off for pre-school. The teachers were lovely and said they would call me in a while to let me know how he was and low and behold by the time I got home I received the call to say he was just fine and had settled.

Almost every morning since then we’ve had tears at drop off. I’m not pandering to anything so he’s not doing it for attention. I don’t think he’s keen on walking in and going off to find something to do, he almost needs guidance and some confidence so I tend to find a TA to leave him with until he warms up a bit.

C’s school have an online journal diary. It’s a fantastic little system and gives parents a chance to see what their little ones get up to in school with photos, videos and a little written description from the teachers. It’s updated every few days and he honestly looks like he’s having the best time at school. Every photo he’s in he has the biggest smile, he looks so happy and they get up to so many different fun things. We had his first parents evening recently and both his teacher and TA couldn’t have said nicer things about him. Apart from the morning tears and wobbles he’s very settled during the day, he’s learning to sound out words so he can read and his maths is excellent and he’s very popular and has lots of friends at playtime. Every afternoon I collect him he comes running out with a big smile and on the walk back to the car he’ll hold my hand skipping along telling me about his day. He started off having hot dinners at lunchtime but I think he found the hot meal hall a little loud so we’ve switched him to packed lunch and he seems much happier at lunchtimes now too.

But something is unsettling him. He’s become very clingy to me now even at home, he gets very distressed or upset if I go with without him (whereas before he was fine) and we are also having issues at bedtime now too. As bedtime approaches he starts to get upset, he says he doesn’t like being in the room on his own and that it’s ages until morning. He’s woken almost every single night with some sort of dream, not related to school as such but lots of different situations involving all of us at some point. Sometimes he was waking 2/3 times a night. We’ve actually had the last 4 nights where he’s slept through and S and I said it was like having a baby again because we woke up one morning and said: “we slept through, he didn’t wake up!!”.

I definitely think it’s a phase he’s going through and it’s down to the upheaval of starting school. I’m hoping the more he settles in and gets used to going the better he will be and all of these issues will lessen. I hate seeing him so upset and worried and like I said I’m not pandering to it so I don’t encourage it but at the same time, it’s hard not to scoop him up and give him attention for it. It’s clearly not just babies who go through stages like this and speaking to my Mum this morning she said L went through similar when she was little too (you tend to forget don’t you?)

Have you had similar issues with your little ones when they started school? How long did it last and do you have any tips on how you dealt with it/helped them?

 

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

Monday 18th September 2017 is the date that’s been in my mind and diary for the last five months. It’s the day you start school.

Funnily enough, the 18th September 2012 was your due date. Five years on and the date remains an important day in my calendar.

 

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

Five years ago (well almost, you’re just two days away from being 5) you come bounding into the World. You never think then how fast the next few years will go of being at home together – you just assume it’s years away and it’ll take forever to get there and you just take in for granted those days spent together will last forever. I know people say it all the time and it’s such a cliche but they have honestly whizzed by so quickly I can’t quite understand where they’ve gone. You’ve gone from our little newborn to a happy smiley baby onto a very energetic toddler who liked to climb everything. You would climb onto my windowsills after searching out a box to push over to sit under the window to help you up, you would climb on your little Ikea kitchen (and I’m talking about being just a year old!) you would grab hold of both handles on the French doors and use your feet to climb up the doors … the list was endless. You gave us a fair few frights seeing what you were getting up to.

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

You started pre-school in January 2016 and right from the start you absolutely loved it. I never had any problems dropping you off and you always had such fun coming out at the end of the afternoon with a smile. You would hold my hand and you would skip along next to me chatting about your afternoon, what you had played with, who you had played with and what snack you had

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

 

When you finished pre-school in July I knew that we had 8 whole weeks together. I planned on doing as many fun things as we could as well as doing what you like best …. spending the whole day at home without even getting dressed.

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

I thought those 8 weeks would last forever .. silly I know but I did think it would, but alas here I am sat here writing this at the end of those 8 weeks, your uniform is all washed, ironed and labeled and sat ready for you to put it on in the morning.

I’ve had the best (almost) 5 years. We’ve done so much together. From toddler groups to music classes with Heather, we’ve met with friends for play dates, we have gone to soft play, parks, the beach, we’ve gone swimming, we’ve met up with your Auntie & Cousin every week to go on a new adventure. We’ve gone to adventure parks, farms, Country Parks …. you name it we’ve done it. We’ve certainly made the most of our days out during term time because I know from now on we’ll have to do all of these things on school holidays, weekends and the odd inset day. The best decision I made was to get us both annual season tickets for your favorite place ever ….. Paultons Park, I wanted to get them so we could experience going whilst everyone was at school and make the most of the park and the rides being quiet. I think since May we’ve been practically every week and you’ve ever got bored of going. I’ve loved our days there together and although we can still go for years to come there really was something quite special about going whilst everyone was at school and work. I think you must have been their biggest “summer beach party” fan!

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

 

On Your First Day At School My Little Boy

 

You’ve given me a new lease of confidence, I’ve done so much with you beside my side and you’ve been my buddy. I’m sure going to miss you so much during the day and I’ve been dreading ‘handing’ you over to someone else to be with them during the days. You’re mine and I don’t want to share you. I want to know what you’ve been doing without having to find out snippets when you remember to tell me. Thinking about you starting at times has made me hurt really bad inside, my heart has ached at the thought of this new journey starting and some nights (a good few nights) I’ve gone off to sleep thinking about it with tears pricking the back of my eyes.

You’ve not really expressed much about going to school because I think it’s been mentioned so much you’ve almost given up waiting …. but now you’ve known for a few days the big day is almost here you’re starting to get excited and chatting about going with your best friend in the entire world.

I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow stood there gripping your little hands tightly but not too tight it hurts, my heart beating and dreading the time it comes to let go … let you go off on this new journey and let you off into the real world on your own two little feet. This is the start of your education, the start of you beginning to learn the world around you more than you do now, to learn how to read and write and make new friends. I know you’re going to absolutely love being at school … well, I hope you do and I hope you love it as much as pre-school. I know once we’re into a routine of being at school it’ll seem like second nature to me (well us), but I do know that at the end of every school day I’ll be there stood waiting to see your little face, to grab your hand and walk off together listening to your tales from your day. I will look forward to the weekends and school holidays as we shall make the most of those days.

From my squishy newborn to a toddler, to a pre-schooler to my big primary school boy. It’s been a blast and although I don’t want to do it again with another I would love to go through it all again with you. If only we can rewind the clock eh?

Always stand up for yourself and don’t let anyone bring you down. Be strong, be kind. But above all just be you. You’re an amazing, funny, caring little thing and big school is very lucky to be having you.

As much as I don’t want this to happen I am really looking forward to watching you in your future nativities and sports days and seeing the new friends you make.

Good Luck on your first-day sweetheart. I’ll miss you lots but I know you’ll be mine again at the end of the school day.

Lots of love always Mummy xxx

 

A Letter To My Boy On The Last Day Of Pre-School!

My darling boy,

It only seems like five minutes ago I was preparing for your first ever session at pre-school, and now eighteen months later it’s the morning of your last session there.

You jumped right into pre-school from the word go. I don’t think in the last year and a half I’ve ever dropped you off and left you crying or not wanting to be there. You have loved every minute of it and when I’ve picked you up after each session you’ve come out with a big smile on your face and full of the tales of your 3 hours, telling me what you’ve been up to whilst holding my hand skipping next to me.

You’ve changed and grown so much and become much more confident in the past year and a half. You have made friends with lots of other children, you have tried new things and tried new foods that you wouldn’t have even considered trying at home. You’ve brought home a vast amount of paintings, models and all different creations you’ve made and I’ve proudly pinned them to the kitchen cupboards to display them to everyone who comes round.

You’ve enjoyed trips out, mornings playing rugby & some mornings doing gym, alongside the role play, arts and crafts, and all the outside garden play.

You always seem so pleased and excited on a Tuesday night when I tell you it’s a pre-school day tomorrow – you then know you have three days of fun, messy play, dressing up play, playing with friends all ahead of you and you’re so happy.

I’ve just dropped you off for your last ever session and I’m sad and heartbroken for you, your time at preschool is ending. You’ve definitely had the best time ever and I really want it to carry on for you … but you are so excited about going to ‘big’ school in September I’m sure the happiness will continue. I hope your years in big school will be as happy as the time you’ve had in pre-school.

I have been given your little book today – a book full of work you’ve done, pictures showing how much fun you’ve had, words and sentences you’ve been telling your teachers and when I look back at the beginning I can actually see how young and tiny you were – at the time you were 3 and didn’t seem to be as little as you look now, but I can tell you’ve started off pre-school as a baby and progressed and grown into a little boy.

I hope you’re having a blast sweetheart at your last session. I’ll certainly miss taking you there.

Day one compared to your last day!

A Letter To My Boy On The Last Day Of Pre-School!

A Letter To My Boy On The Last Day Of Pre-School!

A Letter To My Boy On The Last Day Of Pre-School!

 

 

The Primary School Journey Begins.

I know up until now we’ve had the placement announcement and Mr S & I have had our parents evening and show around the school, but today marks the day of the new journey for little C. This afternoon he is having an hours induction at his new primary school ….. on his own. Without me, without his pre-school teachers.

So yes technically he has been in the school and had had a few visits with his pre-school but today is different. Today I will be dropping him off and leaving him there for an hour with everyone else on his own.

It’s big … it’s pretty huge especially for him (well and for me too!).

I think it’s been on his mind a lot this week too. Up until now he’s been really excited about his ‘big school’ (that’s what he calls it) but this past week or so he’s not been as keen on chatting about it and he said something very logical the other day:

“Mummy I can’t be going to big school yet, I’m still the same size”

Fair point! I think in his little mind he assumed he would be off to ‘big’ school once he was bigger, like his big sister. He’s also been waking up a fair bit these past few nights with nightmares – nothing to do with school but I think it’s because school is playing on his mind. He keeps asking me not to leave him there today and can I stay with him.

C’s pre-school is AMAZING – they really are. I mentioned to his main teacher there yesterday about his fears and she said she would take him and a little group of children over to the primary school (they’re next door to each other) and let them have a little look around. The primary reception classes were on their school trip yesterday so the classrooms were empty.

I picked him up from pre-school yesterday and he had a big smile on his face telling me all about his adventures over to his new school that afternoon. His pre-school teacher said that she would print the photos they took overnight and he could see them in pre-school in the morning.

I dropped him off at pre-school this morning and when we went in there was a huge poster hanging up with 5 photos of the classrooms and peg areas with a big printed sign saying ‘C had taken some pictures his his new school to show everyone’

I was bowled over by the effort she made yesterday to try and help his afternoon today go easier. All I mentioned was he was nervous about going for his visit and she did all of that for him. I will be so so so sad when it comes to him leaving them, he’s honestly had the best time ever there.

Anyway, it’s currently 11.04. I’ll stop this post here for now and I shall update this afternoon on how he found his little settling in session at his new school (I’m trying to change big school into new school for now). I’m hoping once he’s been today his second settling in session will be much easier for him and he will be able to look forward to it.

 

So it’s now a little later on and little C is tucked up in bed hopefully dreaming of his great afternoon at school!!! He LOVED it.

When we arrived he picked up his name from the table and stuck his label on. We waited by the doors and when they opened the teacher knew who he was from a previous visit into his pre-school so that broke the ice a little bit. She said to leave Mummy/Daddy/Nanny etc there and they would see us later … and just like that he gave me a big smile and walked in. Ahhh my heart swelled and broke at the same time.

He was only there for an hour so in no time I was stood back outside the door eagerly waiting on him coming out to see how he got on. The teacher called a child one by one and made sure they went to whoever was there to collect them … eventually, C come out, ran over to me with the biggest of smiles and gave him such a big cuddle. He was so excited to tell me what he had been up to – he chatted all the way back to the car skipping alongside me. I knew then he had a good time.

His next settling in session is in a few weeks and next time hopefully he’ll look forward to it rather than worry on the build up. Then that’s it … after that settling in session the next time he goes will be when he starts in September *sobs*

 

 

The Subject of Death With a 4 Year Old

Have you had to approach the subject of death with your little ones yet? How did you deal with it?

C is now 4 years and 7 months. Up until now, we’ve thankfully not had to come across ‘the chat about death’ but a few weeks ago that changed.

L woke one morning to a message from a friend to say she wouldn’t be in school that day because her Mum had collapsed and had been taken to hospital. L then went off to school as normal and I got on with my morning.

Around 10.30am I received a call from L … when I saw her details pop up on my phone I just thought she was on her break and was asking me to top up her canteen! But no, I wasn’t expecting her to tell me her friends Mum had passed away! It was so sudden.

I don’t know L’s friends Mum but I do of course know L’s friend and I have to say it hit me quite hard. I just couldn’t imagine what that poor family were going through. When they went to bed the previous night as a family of 5 they had no idea what the next day was going to bring. I burst into tears on the phone to L 1) shocked by the news she had just told me and 2) my heart was breaking for my girl. Her friend has just lost her Mum and I was worried about her having received the news whilst in school. I did offer to go and collect her but she said being in school would be a bit of a distraction and the teachers were dealing with it well & had the choice to be out of class if they chose to.

So with my worries lying with L, wondering how she would be seeing as it is her friend and L has been to stay at the girl’s house so also knows her Mum too, I didn’t for a second think about C. Who would have thought he would be affected by this?

At first, I didn’t think he even really knew what was going on, it’s not like I openly told him L’s friend had died, but he was obviously listening to us talking about it and telling others. It was the Easter holidays and a few days later we were at the park. C was on the steps to a slide when all of a sudden he had what I can only describe as a panic attack. He just melted down into a sobbing panicking mess. He was hyperventilating, sobbing his heart out, burying his head in my chest, complaining his chest was hurting … It was awful! So upsetting to see him so upset. I calmed him down and we just sat on the park bench cuddling him the sun. He didn’t want to do play on anything but he didn’t want to go home either so we just sat there in the sun together.

After about 20 minutes he was much happier, his chest was better and he asked if he could go and play. Just like that.

Later that night at dinner he had another one – Mr S was home and he witnessed it this time. Like me he felt awful our little boy was going through such upset and heartache and he couldn’t tell us why. Again it took us about 20 minutes to calm him down and whilst sat on the sofa afterwards having a cuddle he fell asleep – really unusual for him. He just seemed exhausted after 20 minutes of crying and hyperventilating. He only slept for about 15 minutes then woke up ans was ok again.

The next day in the car he was sat in the back quietly looking out of the window and all of a sudden he asked the question “Mummy? Did ****’s Mum die” and I have to say the question hit me! I wasn’t expecting it. I just said “Yes she did sweetheart” I didn’t know what else to say. I was waiting on the next set of questions but there wasn’t any … he just carried on looking out of the window.

Loads raced through my mind. I wondered if I should carry on the conservation, But then wondered how I was going to answer any more of his possible questions.

You can’t tell him people only die when they’re old because, a) it’s not true and b) would he start worrying about his beloved Grandparents … and us .. he considers us old because we’re grown up. You can’t say people only die when they get poorly because, a) that’s not true and b) the next time any one of us gets a cold would be panic and think we’ll die? It’s such a hard topic!!! So I left it.

Not much else happened the rest of the week until Friday morning. L had been invited to go away with some family friends for the weekend, it was only arranged as a last minute thing the night before when C was in bed so he was none the wiser. Our friends come early on Friday morning to collect her and he asked where she was going. When I told him she was going away for a few days he broke down. He got so upset and begged me to not let her go. As they drove off and we come back inside he asked if we could get in the car and chase them down the road and bring L back. I laughed and said not to be silly – she would be back in 3 sleeps time. I couldn’t understand why he was getting so upset.

Well, ALL weekend all he kept asking was how many more sleeps was it until L was home, he kept asking if she was coming home now and two out of the 3 nights he would sob into his pillow in his sleep and he also wet the bed twice too. He never does that!

On day 3 the day she was coming home it became apparent what was up … he thought L was going to die whilst she was away and he was beside himself with worry. Once she was home he wouldn’t leave her side and said I’m so pleased you didn’t die. That night he slept all night and was dry again!

It’s been a few weeks since all of this happened and he has asked the odd few questions like why was ***’s Mum lying on the floor (again he must have overheard L telling me the story of what had happened) I mentioned it to pre-school when he went back after the Easter holidays to let them know of his struggles over it all so they could keep an eye on him, but he’s been fine.

L’s friend last week come to stay the night and I did wonder if seeing her would spur him to start asking her lots of questions but funnily enough, he didn’t.

It’s amazing what goes on in their little minds, isn’t it?

Have you had anything similar happen to your little one? Have you had to approach the subject od death with them yet? If so how did you go about it?

The day before school admissions reveal!

*Gulp* The day is almost here. Tomorrow Tuesday 18th April 2017 marks the day we find out C’s school placement. The school his name is down against and the school he will start in September.

Am I excited? Not really, no. C is our last child and him going off to school marks the end of a lot of things. He’s the last ‘baby’ to be at home with me all day – he’s my little buddy and companion and I hate the thought of him being somewhere for 6 hours a day. I like our time together. Whether it’s just having a day at home or enjoying a day out. Come September I will no longer have the ‘child at home’ (except evenings, weekends and holidays obviously) but you know what I mean.

I know everyone says this, but it really only does seem like 5 minutes ago he was born. These past 4.5 years have gone by so fast and I wish I could re-live them all again. I’m not ready for him to go off into the big wide world (ok, that’s a bit extreme I know).

Tomorrow morning, just after 9am I will receive an email, I doubt I’ll sleep much tonight. I, of course, want the email so I know that he’s got into the school we want him to go to and also the school he himself talks about going to.

I do, of course, want the email to come with good news. News that he’s got into the school we want him to go to and also the school he himself talks about going to. Wish us luck.

Who else is waiting on school placement news tomorrow?

Being a Mum – Finding it tough at times & mum guilt!

The title sums me up totally at the moment.

I’m tired today, totally exhausted and I have been feeling like this for a while. I had a sickness bug a few weeks ago and that left me feeing totally drained, I felt ok again last week but these past few days I must have some sort of virus because I have a slight sore throat but zero energy – absolutely none. I lay in bed this morning and imagined myself as Woody from Toy Story – imagine him lying down on the table and when you pick him up his arms and left just hang all dangled over don’t they? Well, that’s how I felt – I felt so drained and exhausted my legs felt like they had weights on them this morning.

C has been a bit full on recently too – wanting lots of attention and following me everywhere. He goes through stages like this where he just won’t leave my side and acts like he just can’t occupy himself, whereas he’ll go through periods of being quite happy to play by himself and lose himself in his imagination … but just not recently.

I’m sat here whilst he’s at pre-school surrounded by toys that need tidying up, stuff in the kitchen that needs loading into the dishwasher, clothes that need loading into the washing machine, plants that need potting that have been sat on the side for a few days, clothes to label for a pre-loved baby sale I’m doing on Sunday …. but I just don’t have the energy to do any of it. I want to just sit here, write my blog, read some blog posts, watch something on the TV or youtube because tonight I have work … from 8-midnight. I’ve been doing that for 3 nights a week for the past 16 or so months and it’s been fine – but these past few weeks I’ve been finding it a bit of a struggle. When I wake up on a Monday morning I have a full day on the go with C, doing all the things we do, entertaining him, doing the house stuff, I do dinner and go off out to work. I get in gone midnight, usually not getting to sleep until almost 1.

Then the second C wake up on a Tuesday morning it all starts again … the only time I get a break or some time for me will be when he goes to bed at 7.30/8 that night …. that would have been 48 hours from the last time I had that (Sunday night). Just writing that down is making me sigh and breathe in a huge breath with tiredness.

Being a Mum is hard work – being a working mum (however many hours you work) is even harder and I’m finding myself getting a bit short tempered and snappy towards him atm and I feel SO guilty and So bad.

I don’t get much time to myself – even though he goes to pre-school 3 days a week they’re only for 3-hour sessions – by the time I take him and have to leave to collect him again, it gives me 2.5 hours …. not 2.5 hours to myself … no. 2.5 hours to do the housework/food shopping/run general errands etc.

It’s not forever I know – he starts school in September and it’s breaking my heart. I’m hating the thought of ‘losing’ him to school. He’s my buddy and I do love having him around and going out for days out and adventures together and that’s all going to stop in September.

Time is going so fast and that day is quickly approaching and now whilst the house is quiet I do feel bad that I may have snapped at him today for taking too long to do something, or for not giving me a second to get dressed/brush my teeth .. blah blah.

Mum guilt – it’s awful, isn’t it? I feel bad for wanting some time off from being a Mum, but everyone does right? Everyone needs some time out? I just haven’t really had that in his 4 little years of life and for the past few weeks I’ve just felt like it’s been a little bit too much, what with work and trying to get some work done on my blog (which isn’t happening) I know come September I’ll have lots of time to myself with him at school and I know I’ll look back on these days and wish they were still here. You can’t win, can you?

I know I should just ignore the house and take some of the pre-school hours to do something for myself but I just can’t – I can’t just leave it all undone and untidy … because it’ll just be there for me anyway at some point to do and 10 times worse Haha.

It’s been a long winter too – I’m ready for the Spring & Summer & the better weather.

I needed to get that off my chest. Do you ever feel like this? Am I normal, because right now I feel awful and sad and guilty.

 

Experiencing Specsavers Opticians With Children.

Experiencing Specsavers Opticians With Children.

You may have read my previous post just after we discovered C developed a sudden squint. After his initial appointment we were on the understanding he might require glasses but we wouldn’t know until his next hospital appointment.

His second appointment was on Wednesday of last week and we did infact find out he requires glasses to help correct his squint. He only has it when he’s concentrating on something up close – his vision is perfect otherwise so he only has only been prescribed a low prescription.

I was a bit apprehensive all week about him needing them because he point blank refused to accept he needs them. He just kept saying “But I don’t need glasses” which to be honest, he was right – his vision is fine so it’s not like he’s seeing things blurry and therefore we could say the glasses would help him see better.

On Saturday morning we popped to our local Specsavers opticians and just casually just said to him we were popping into have a look at the glasses they had. C had bought along his beloved Eeyore teddy with him (he comes everywhere) and we had a look at what they had on offer. They had quite a few glasses to choose from in the boys children section. Different frames and all different colours with characters on the side. The first pair that grabbed our attention were a red pair with Mickey mouse on the arms. C loves the colour red and he loves Disney like we do so they seemed a good choice. He put them and looked at himself in the mirror and he smiled …. he seemed happy! He went onto choose another pair this time a blue pair, the same frame as the red ones but this time they had Minions on the arms. Naturally Eeyore had to have a pair too having been through the same experience at the hospital with C on Wednesday by having the same eye drops as he did. So he picked a pair for him to wear too.

Once we had chosen the two glasses he liked we went to take a seat to wait for a dispenser to call his name. Despite is being a Saturday and the store being quite busy we didn’t have to wait long, I’d say we were only sitting waiting under five minutes.

A lady called Cathy called us over and C sat down at her desk. She asked me if this was his first time wearing glasses & I said it was and that we were unsure how it would go because up until now he hasn’t shown any interest in having glasses.

I have to say Cathy was absolutely brilliant with him. She talked to him using his name & asked who his friend was and engaged in conversation about Eeyore to make C feel relaxed and comfortable. She explained what she was doing when she was trying his glasses on for size and when she used the ruler to take his measurements. C let her do everything she needed to do. Best of all though she did the exact same to Eeyore – she noted C had picked up a pair of glasses from the shelf for Eeyore and he was wearing them so she went out the back and bough out a pair of ‘glasses’ (just the frames) especially for Eeyore – a pink pair to match the colour of the insides of his ears. He even ended up with is very one glasses case with Winnie the Pooh on the front! I was delighted with that extra special touch because I was worrying how upset C was going to get when it was time to leave and we would have asked him to put the glasses he chose for Eeyore back on the shelf. She was absolutely wonderful and made the whole experience fun. We don’t collect C’s glasses until next Saturday but since our visit to Specsavers on Saturday he’s been taking much more about having glasses and he seems to be keen on getting them next week too.

It’s amazing how someone can help make a situation that bit easier.

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Fussy Eaters – An Article On BBC News Today.

I was sat in the doctors waiting room this morning, watching the news ticker on the bottom of the TV and something caught my eye.

‘Fussy eating toddler … ‘not the fault of parents’

I must admit I was a little shocked by that statement – I’ve never blamed myself for having fussy eaters. In fact I did all I could in the beginning of their weaning days to encourage anything but fussy eating once they reached toddlerhood. I just thought fussy eating was a natural path in life most kids took. Eat everything handed to them as babies, hit a fussy stage as a toddler, start eating all the things again as they get older … never did I think for one minute it was my fault.

Both of mine had different weaning experiences. L is 13 so back when she was a baby the guidelines were a lot different to what they are these days. I weaned her around 15 weeks (yes I know, but like I said we were advised back then to begin weaning that early). Obviously due to her age weaning back then meant spoon feeding her purees. I didn’t want to feed her from jars so I made all of her food myself. I would spend hours one day every few weeks whizzing up meals for her, getting more adventurous as she got older and was wanting more than just the basic one flavours. I would freeze them all and get out each day what I wanted to feed her. I remember cod in orange sauce used to be one of her favourites. I never shied away from strong flavours or flavours that might not have tasted the best .. I remember doing some puree courgette once, her face didn’t look too impressed but she ate it non the less.

All was going swimmingly until she reached the 18 month-2yr stage. She become fussy and refused certain foods. She would stick to wanting the same day in and day out. Her favourite was a little snacky plate – lots of little bits and pieces, ham, cucumber, fruit etc. Everyone I spoke to said she was at ‘that age’ and it was normal for children to go through stages and I was told it was just ‘another phase’

I did pass but it took a while, i’m taking a few years tbh. She now however is no problem at all and even if she’s not too bothered by something she will still eat it if I serve it up to her, but on the whole she’s got a great varied like for food.

C was weaned the more modern way – he was 6 months and we did baby led weaning. I would just serve him up whatever we would have that night and we ate as a family. He would have haddock, cod, chicken curry, stew, chilli, vegetables … you name it he ate it all, I never had a problem getting him to eat and try new foods.

Again once he hit the 18month-2yr age the fussiness began. He would start being picky about what he was eating on his plate, pushing it away and refusing to try anything new. Like L he had his favourites and stuck to them. I would still put things on his plate that I knew he used to like but no longer ate in the hope he would one day ‘try’ them again.

He’s now 4 and we are slowly getting back to him being willing to try new foods he’s unsure of and his choices are widening as to what he will eat. He still have his favourites and go to meals I know he will always eat but who doesn’t have a favourite?

I used to get worked up at the fact they weren’t eating certain foods but I’ve come to the realisation that they will eat what they want to eat and one day they will start accepting those vegetables again! It won’t last forever. You don’t really see adults being fussy with their food do you? Lucky both of them despite not liking vegetable still loved their fruit so I wasn’t worried. C will eat fruit until the cows come home.

But like I said not at any stage did I think to myself “What have I done wrong, I’m to blame for their fussiness” I couldn’t have done any better in the beginning in my opinion, I cooked and offered them a lot of varied meals including meat, fish and vegetables so how could I be at fault?

What surprises me is it’s only now the media are saying parents are not to blame. Have we been judged until now as the ones to blame? Did you or do you have fussy eaters? Do you blame yourself? It also proved to me not matter how you wean your baby, it still makes no difference what so ever, if they’re going to be fussy they’ll be fussy!

This is the news article if you haven’t seen it:

BBC News – Fussy eating toddlers ‘not the fault of parents’

 

 

 

Discovering Your Child Needs Glasses.

Yesterday marked the day we found out our little boy will need to wear glasses.

It all started on Sunday evening. We had my parents round for Sunday dinner, C was tired so sat own his iPad in the evening (watching his beloved Paw Patrol!) Mum was sat opposite him and said to me “Do you know C is going cross eyed”? I got up and walked over to where she was sitting and low and behold he was. I’d never seen him do it before. It wasn’t in just the one eye either, it was both. I was worried about how suddenly it appeared. Googling on a Sunday evening isn’t advised either!

On Monday morning I called my local Supersavers to arrange for an eye test. Basically once I had given them his details, his age and my concerns on how suddenly we noticed it they advised us to pop up to our eye clinic A&E department.

They were brilliant up at the hospital and did a few tests but we were told we would have to bring him in the next day once the full department was open and especially the children’s orthopic department.

Yesterday lunchtime we went along and had a more through check up and the long and short of it is C has trouble focusing short sighted, he then uses his right eye to focus causing it to turn in and tells his brains to ignore any signals going to his left eye. It’s quite clever what the human body and and can’t do – apparently adults aren’t able to tell the brain to do things like that.

So we were told yesterday the treatment is going to be glasses for him. We were told we have caught it very early on and it’s the most treatable squint and the most common one so that was a relief.

I’m absolutely delighted it’s nothing more sinister (especially after googling what could cause sudden squints) but I can’t lie and say i’m fine with him having to have glasses.

His little face is the face i’ve known for almost 4 years, overnight it’s going to change and i’m going to have to get used to him looking different. I worry about him not liking them, I worry about him getting bullied in school. It’s going to be different and i’m struggling with it a little.

If you have been a reader of my blog you may have picked up on the fact he’s absolutely fireman/fire engine obsessed. All he ever talks about is them and this morning it broke my heart when he said “Mummy I can’t wait until i’m bigger and i’m a fireman so I can drive a fire engine” …. I wanted to cry … wearing glasses he may never get to do his dream job. Now I now many of you will think Ahh he’s 4, he’s bound to change his mind, which is true but there are some children that have such a passion in life from an early age and that passion stays with them all the time. My Uncle was the same age as him when he become a fan of fire engines & the day he turned 17 he joined the fire bridge and work with them until he retired. I can only hope because we’ve caught this early enough the glasses will help and we’ve been told it’s best treated before the age of 7 and sometimes after 7/10 years glasses are no longer needed. If this is the case then I hope he can achieve his dream one day. Other than that I hope technology along the way will help him somehow.

For the time being I shall make the most of his little face without his glasses because by the time he might not have to wear them anymore he’ll no long be almost 4 and be like the face i’ve always known … he’ll be grown up and will look different anyway 🙁

We’re now just waiting on another appointment date for us to get his eye sight measured for the lens strength he’ll require.